Day #2 Interesting day...

Hello,

Today was an okay day for me, except I found out that I have over 10 exams in one week in December (only mocks) but still. I guess I feel quite down in a way due to not being on top of things lately but everything is slowly progressing day by day, I think some of my new friendships are developing and despite me wanting to meet some new people in college I still want some memorable mates from high school.

Starting this blog last night is already helping me find out who I was, Im starting to find things that I actually like especially clothes. Im not trying to set new trends or anything but I really like the shit that I Have been looking at online lately and I hope to get some for xmas. I don't want to give too much away as I don't it to be obvious to acquaintances that it is in-fact me writing on this blog.

School was fun and went relatively quickly, Im not sure what to hope for in my spanish lesson tomorrow though. I've considered dropping the language but every time I discuss it at break or lunch the next lesson seems to be a blast. My teacher is really strict but I understand that she just wants us to achieve a decent grade. Sometimes his/her 'dedication' can get annoying and spanish feels like such a pressuring subject, but my teacher is sometimes nice in class (especially when she/he has a laugh). I think I learn more when A teacher is relatable and social. Not so 'down to earth' :).

I highly doubt many people read this blog but I don't really care, its a great feeling knowing that anyone of my friends, enemies or even teachers could be reading this and not knowing it was me. I think I prefer it with them knowing about me without knowing its me but probably thinking that one of their students or friends is in the same situation (wow thats a mouth full)

anyway, its very late and I think I should hit the pillow #pillowbeater

Goodnight,

mellotronchild

Day #1 its 1am...

I guess you would expect me to introduce myself in this first post but I don't think I will, its very late...

... My profile description explains why I have decided to do this briefly, but I guess you would want me to go a bit more in-depth so I will.

I am 15 years old approaching my exams living in a very shit life but it has its peaks and perks :),
I am somewhat confused about who I am anymore, living in this generation is hard to keep up too especially in school. So many people are so judgemental at this time that I cant even tell anyone the truth anymore but as I type more and more of this blog I can feel the weight on my chest getting lighter and lighter.

In this generation everyone is EXTREMELY materialistic it is crazy!, designer shoes, clothes, trends, music etc. it seems like everyone is following one person but I struggle to find out where it fucking starts! I guess i feel like I have to follow these things to live up to expectations that don't even exist.
Doing this everyday is stressful, and i feel like i have no one else to talk to (thats why I have made this) I guess making this blog is a step closer to regaining my original self and discovering who I once was, One of the artists I listen called 'Tyler, the creator' has said to 'be yourself' 'do what makes you happy' but I don't know what 'yourself' is anymore.

Say I tell everyone to go fuck themselves in the arse, I tell them to shove there shitty brands up there arse,  I'll were what i like! The thing is that I don't think I even know what I like anymore its ridiculously annoying and Im %100 sure that theres a million more teens in my situation too. its a hard world to escape but I guess i'll have to live it out until college.

why?

New people, new impressions.

Not saying I care about impressions but I think this is a opportunity to start being who I want to be, I think that is what Im most excited for about college! I haven't had A close friend my age for about 4 years and its really annoying, I hope this gets resolved soon.

C ya tuesday,
Mellotron.